Special news bulletin: Israeli archaeologists discover major translation error in biblical end-times prophecies

By Benjamin Fulford (BSNewswire, April 1, 2019) — Israeli archaeologists have discovered a major translation error in biblical end-times prophesies that seem to indicate the end is near.

“Excavations of sites dating back to before the biblical Floods of Spam reveal that early prophets were unable to understand the meaning of a key word and replaced it with a guess as to its meaning,” says Dr. Yura Schmuck of the Israeli Institute of Digital Archaeology.”

The passage in question, from Revelation 13:17, reads, “No one will be able to buy or to sell, except the one who has the mark, either the name of the beast or the number of his name.”  The key mistranslation concerns the word “beast,” which in fact should be “visa,” Dr. Schmuck says.  The prophets examining the ancient biblical source code did not know what “visa” referred to, so they assumed it was a typographical error and guessed the word meant “beast,” he explains.

“If you substitute the word ‘visa’ for ‘beast,’ then suddenly it all makes sense and we can see the prophecy is coming true with the advent of digital cash,” he notes.

“This is complete and utter nonsense,” says Visa Inc. spokesperson Sey Tannick.  She notes that her company’s upcoming debt card microchip implant with “be initially introduced as an optional upgrade.”

0 0 vote
Article Rating
Notify of
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Sean Hallahan

Good One, Ben!

I always look forward to Mondays and your article. I saw this, didn’t get the joke, and was disappointed that you hadn’t lit me week up again. Then, BOOM! your real article. Great and awesome stuff. I feel so lucky to be a subscriber some time.

Check out Asana, Kazakhstan! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Jr9JZsFcW8

Leah Ciaccio

“Dr. You’re a Schmuck” does not exist. This is a haox.


Ha! Ha! Sey Tannick – I had to say it out loud to get it!

David Webster

An OBVIOUS April fools day, I kind of figured you go for a humorous approach. 🙂


Oh no! You aren’t looking for a slot on Comedy Central are you? HA


Please. “Sey Tannick”… pretty good.


April fools! Good one.


I had to check, is this an article written by The Onion?


The “BSNewswire” did it for me.

Besides, Ben does an April Fool’s joke post every single year.


#RuthBaderGinsburg has been spotted bungee-jumping off the backside of the #SCOTUS building!

She’s been #planking, doing #yoga.





floods of spam did it for me


Folks, look at the source – BSNewswire – BS as in BS…..also it don’t exist

Lee Jakeman

Yeah – and it’s just a coincidence that today is April 1st.

caroline Malley

April’s fool!!!!!
Dr. Iamnot A. Schmuck


Hee. Sey Tannick is Visa’s spokesperson.

If only the msm would identify their writings as clearly as you have here for this bit of levity with the newly created BSNewswire. Well done, Ben.




from this article-quote—–I am as astonished, as I am delighted, to learn that the Daily Mail, a staunch supporter of Mrs May, had the courage to publish this incendiary denunciation of the Prime Minister and her Brexit shenanigans.—–unquote….. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-6858227/RICHARD-LITTLEJOHN-Mrs-broken-Brexit-Brexit-broken-her.html https://www.davidicke.com/article/529277/burn-witch-burn-theresa-may-denounced-liar-traitor-brexit-betrayal —————————————————————————————————— https://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/politics/the-sun-is-setting-on-justin-trudeau-grand-chief-stewart-phillip-on-arrogant-pm-response-to-protesters/ar-BBVsaYo?ocid=spartandhp ——————————————————————————————————- from this article-quote—–“I think there were some people that tried to actually be fair,” Trump Jr. said. “When they were actually fair you’d see the other side just try to just obliterate them… it became a business model for most media to attack Donald Trump and to buy into this narrative. And if you didn’t, you upset… Read more »


Hello Benjamin, I would not want it to be a hoax also seen the date 1 April, knowing that recurs the April fish… «I saw then come up from the earth another beast, which had two horns, similar to those of a lamb, but which spoke like a dragon. It wields all the power of the first beast in its presence and forces the earth and its inhabitants to worship the first beast, whose mortal wound had healed. He worked great wonders, until he made fire come down from heaven on earth before men. Through these wonders, which she was… Read more »

Elliott Reed

Other than that, don’t let The Pope get you down!


Dark times breeds dark humor. Bring on the light.


Posted on April 1st, about a person named Schmuck??

Either a really bad joke or really bad timing.

My childhood church said the VISA card was the beast 30 years ago by the way.


Not particularly funny April Fools joke…

Leland Roth



Initially an option, ‘natch!
You know , like the option that our War Vets in V.A. hospitals get.
If you don’t get chipped, they might “forget” your med’s!
But of course, it’s just an “option”, however hard its pushed upon a bed ridden Vet.
A BAR Code tattoo would work too but that ain’t what’s used because that would bring out bad vibes of NAZI camps!
Visa huh-who would of thunk it?–lol-lol-lol!


; ) Thank you, Benjamin ; )