Special news bulletin: Israeli archaeologists discover major translation error in biblical end-times prophecies

By Benjamin Fulford (BSNewswire, April 1, 2019) — Israeli archaeologists have discovered a major translation error in biblical end-times prophesies that seem to indicate the end is near.

“Excavations of sites dating back to before the biblical Floods of Spam reveal that early prophets were unable to understand the meaning of a key word and replaced it with a guess as to its meaning,” says Dr. Yura Schmuck of the Israeli Institute of Digital Archaeology.”

The passage in question, from Revelation 13:17, reads, “No one will be able to buy or to sell, except the one who has the mark, either the name of the beast or the number of his name.”  The key mistranslation concerns the word “beast,” which in fact should be “visa,” Dr. Schmuck says.  The prophets examining the ancient biblical source code did not know what “visa” referred to, so they assumed it was a typographical error and guessed the word meant “beast,” he explains.

“If you substitute the word ‘visa’ for ‘beast,’ then suddenly it all makes sense and we can see the prophecy is coming true with the advent of digital cash,” he notes.

“This is complete and utter nonsense,” says Visa Inc. spokesperson Sey Tannick.  She notes that her company’s upcoming debt card microchip implant with “be initially introduced as an optional upgrade.”

Please Login to comment
25 Comment threads
0 Thread replies
1 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
23 Comment authors
Sean HallahanLeah CiacciojeregardeDavid Websterjdc2016 Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Sean Hallahan
Sean Hallahan

Good One, Ben!

I always look forward to Mondays and your article. I saw this, didn’t get the joke, and was disappointed that you hadn’t lit me week up again. Then, BOOM! your real article. Great and awesome stuff. I feel so lucky to be a subscriber some time.

Check out Asana, Kazakhstan! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Jr9JZsFcW8

Leah Ciaccio
Leah Ciaccio

“Dr. You’re a Schmuck” does not exist. This is a haox.

jeregarde
jeregarde

Ha! Ha! Sey Tannick – I had to say it out loud to get it!

David Webster
David Webster

An OBVIOUS April fools day, I kind of figured you go for a humorous approach. 🙂

jdc2016
jdc2016

Oh no! You aren’t looking for a slot on Comedy Central are you? HA

nephre
nephre

Please. “Sey Tannick”… pretty good.

hsjeck
hsjeck

April fools! Good one.

minichic8
minichic8

I had to check, is this an article written by The Onion?

mozart
mozart

The “BSNewswire” did it for me.

Besides, Ben does an April Fool’s joke post every single year.

mozart
mozart

#RuthBaderGinsburg has been spotted bungee-jumping off the backside of the #SCOTUS building!

She’s been #planking, doing #yoga.

#WheresRuth?

#AprilFools

#Q
#1A
#MAGA
#QAnon
#POTUS
#MAGA45
#POTUS2020
#WWG1WGA
#BuildThatWall
#trumptrainarmy
#TrumpTrain2020
#GreatAwakening

straitbo449
straitbo449

floods of spam did it for me

giggedy
giggedy

Folks, look at the source – BSNewswire – BS as in BS…..also it don’t exist

Lee Jakeman
Lee Jakeman

Yeah – and it’s just a coincidence that today is April 1st.

caroline Malley
caroline Malley

April’s fool!!!!!
Dr. Iamnot A. Schmuck

melissa_in_arcadia
melissa_in_arcadia

Hee. Sey Tannick is Visa’s spokesperson.

If only the msm would identify their writings as clearly as you have here for this bit of levity with the newly created BSNewswire. Well done, Ben.

wolfintimber

hahahahaha…..

wolfintimber

from this article-quote—–I am as astonished, as I am delighted, to learn that the Daily Mail, a staunch supporter of Mrs May, had the courage to publish this incendiary denunciation of the Prime Minister and her Brexit shenanigans.—–unquote…..

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-6858227/RICHARD-LITTLEJOHN-Mrs-broken-Brexit-Brexit-broken-her.html

https://www.davidicke.com/article/529277/burn-witch-burn-theresa-may-denounced-liar-traitor-brexit-betrayal

——————————————————————————————————

https://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/politics/the-sun-is-setting-on-justin-trudeau-grand-chief-stewart-phillip-on-arrogant-pm-response-to-protesters/ar-BBVsaYo?ocid=spartandhp

——————————————————————————————————-

from this article-quote—–“I think there were some people that tried to actually be fair,” Trump Jr. said. “When they were actually fair you’d see the other side just try to just obliterate them… it became a business model for most media to attack Donald Trump and to buy into this narrative. And if you didn’t, you upset a lot of people and risked your career, you risked other things.”—–unquote…..

https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-jr-calls-mainstream-media-a-blight-on-our-republic

——————————————————————————————

entropy-quote—–communication theory : a measure of the efficiency of a system (such as a code or a language) in transmitting information, being equal to the logarithm of the number of different messages that can be sent by selection from the same set of symbols and thus indicating the degree of initial uncertainty that can be resolved by any one message.—–unquote…..

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/entropy

—————————————————————————————–

vaturu
vaturu

Hello Benjamin, I would not want it to be a hoax also seen the date 1 April, knowing that recurs the April fish…

«I saw then come up from the earth another beast, which had two horns, similar to those of a lamb, but which spoke like a dragon. It wields all the power of the first beast in its presence and forces the earth and its inhabitants to worship the first beast, whose mortal wound had healed. He worked great wonders, until he made fire come down from heaven on earth before men. Through these wonders, which she was permitted to perform in the presence of the beast, she seduced the inhabitants of the earth, telling them to erect a statue to the beast who had been wounded by the sword but had recovered. She was also allowed to animate the statue of the beast so that that statue even spoke and could put to death all those who did not worship the statue of the beast. He caused all, large and small, rich and poor, free and slaves to receive a mark on their right hand and forehead; and that no one could buy or sell without such a mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. He who has intelligence calculates the number of the beast: it represents a man’s name. And this figure is six hundred and sixty-six. »
(Revelation, XIII:11-18)

Elliott Reed
Elliott Reed

Other than that, don’t let The Pope get you down!

goldengatetim
goldengatetim

Dark times breeds dark humor. Bring on the light.

cornpoppin
cornpoppin

Posted on April 1st, about a person named Schmuck??

Either a really bad joke or really bad timing.

My childhood church said the VISA card was the beast 30 years ago by the way.

Gary Goodman
Gary Goodman

Not particularly funny April Fools joke…

Leland Roth
Leland Roth

🤣🎶⚡🔥

rays
rays

Initially an option, ‘natch!
You know , like the option that our War Vets in V.A. hospitals get.
If you don’t get chipped, they might “forget” your med’s!
But of course, it’s just an “option”, however hard its pushed upon a bed ridden Vet.
A BAR Code tattoo would work too but that ain’t what’s used because that would bring out bad vibes of NAZI camps!
Visa huh-who would of thunk it?–lol-lol-lol!

samba
samba

; ) Thank you, Benjamin ; )