Industry lobby group proposes radical plan to use hi-tech to preserve the environment

PR Newswire April 1, 2020

The Production Investment Group (PIG), a powerful industry lobby, has come up with a radical plan to use high tech and industrial technology to preserve the environment.

The plan, called the Global Radical Environmental Emergency Decree (GREED), calls for the environment to be preserved using industrial methods such as freeze-drying, canning, and digitization.

Amazon.com Inc. is planning to contribute to this plan by placing a lien on the Amazon rain forest, says Amazon spokesperson Grabi Tall.  “The actual Amazon rainforest failed to copyright their name so we are legally entitled to seize it for copyright violation,” she explained.

The company plans to turn the Amazon rain forest into products to be sent to consumers worldwide.  The land freed up with then be used for solar farms to power servers that will, among other things, host a virtual digital rendition of the Amazon rain forest, she says noting: “The digital amazon rain forest will be accessible to any subscriber anywhere in the world. Also, we will edit out inconveniences of the former Amazon such as mosquitoes, poisonous snakes and cannibals,” she says.

The PIG GREED initiative considers the digitization of the amazon to be just a first step to the digitization of all reality. Other corporations are planning similar moves to commoditize, digitize and replace other “unclean and unsafe,” natural environments, according to the GREED plan.

 “The financial assets created by our AI trading platforms are now worth many thousand times more the entire planet earth,” PIG spokesperson R. Obot explains.  “That means we can buy everything on the planet and then digitize it for maximum efficiency,” he says.

The final step will be to “decarbonize humans,” in order to complete the transition from carbon-based life to silicon-based life, he adds.  “Then our AI god will finally become the real God with a capital ‘G’,” he explains.